Happy 2018! (I know, I know…I’m like twelve days late)
It’s hard to believe that we’re almost two weeks into 2018…like we’re literally halfway through January. How crazy is that! If you’re like me, when the year is coming to an end, I tend to do a lot of reflecting. I like to take inventory and see what’s working and what’s not working in my life. So for this blog post, I would like to do just that. Write down all the lessons I have learned that I will be bringing into this new year.
2017 taught me that you can lose your mind at some point after trying to pretend you’re fine for so long. When I first began my yoga journey this year, I felt uncomfortable. Not because of the physical poses, but from what was coming up for me internally. A lot was brought to the surface, such as the trauma I experienced from my childhood, abuse, anxiety/depression and other unhealed parts of myself. For years I chose to distract myself and ignore the pain I had on my chest; in other words, I emotionally abandoned myself. I spent 2017 breaking the chains of my past. Getting to the root. Tending to the inner hurt child, forgiving and creating closure. I realized no matter how nostalgic it may be or how painful, you have to shed old skin, and release past versions of you in order to move through life with grace and ease.
Creating a space for daily healing, whether it’s through practicing yoga, meditation, going to workshops or therapy, has been deeply transformative. And the biggest cure of all in my opinion is having an immense love of self. Self-love is so much more than basking in your light. It’s identifying where you’re fucking up, being accountable for it, and correcting it. It’s about becoming aware of your whole self, not just the parts you like/want people to see.
So many of us carry pain, discomfort, insecurities and challenging emotions that come from enduring a significant moment that happened in our life. Others might carry heaviness that accompanies feelings of inadequacy, low self esteem, loneliness or a lost sense of purpose. We often feel forced to pull it all together with a smile on our face because showing up honestly and openly feels too revealing and uncomfortable. So instead we show up in altered versions of ourselves and we act in ways that we do not fully understand. So this is me reminding you: go to the parts that are hard for you to express instead of numbing your emotions. When we push away pain, we push away progress.
So here’s to putting down my metaphorical weapon, letting people in fully and ending the year off more authentically. 2017 was a year of intense growth, and I am so thankful for that.
with love + light,